Week 50 – How to keep “Bah Humbug” out of your Holiday Spirit.

Since I’ve gotten so many requests, I am posting a summary of my lighthearted Toastmaster speech about Holiday Spirit.

 Ah, the holiday season.  I just love the sweet smell of pine from the Christmas trees. And the beautiful, twinkling lights hanging from the eaves of neighborhood houses.  And the Christmas songs.  How could I forget the Christmas carols.  With all this goodness, how could anyone NOT be in the holiday spirit?  Oh, I know.  It’s all the – other stuff…Christmas presents – who to buy for, what to spend and what the heck to get.  And the shopping, parking and let’s not forget the holiday parties.  It’s enough to drive any sane person crazy.  But have no fear, today I will share with you my personal “Bah Humbug Busters”.

1.  Buy zero presents.  Blame it on the economy.  Blame it on me.  This will save you a lot of stress and anxiety.  OK, if you must, you may buy one or two presents.  This, however, leads us to another stressor – shopping – for whch we will need Bah Humbug Buster 2a.

2a.  Listen to and sing Christmas Carols.  As you are driving to the mall, you must play and sing, very loudly, Christmas Carols.  Studies have shown that its impossible to be angry and sing Christmas Carols at the same time.  As you drive into the parking lot, you will need Bah Humbug Buster 2b.

2b  Park far away. Oh but I know what you will do instead.  You will drive up and down the aisles.  You will follow someone who has just exited the building carrying bags of goodies.  You will patiently wait while they search for their keys.  Then, inevitably, they will realize their car is three row away and they will quickly dash across the aisles leaving you stranded. 
Another problem with the crowded malls is the large volume of germs.  This leads us to Bah Humbug buster #2c

2c. Wear your face mask.  You can decorate it with pictures and ornaments if you want.  AND, as you’re walking from your car to the mall, you must continue with #2a – listening to and singing Christmas carols.  You may need an mp3 player or iPod to assist you.  The good news is that if you’re shy about your voice, the face mask will muffle the sound and people will have no idea where the beautiful music is coming from.
Another benefit of wearing the face mask is that many people will let you cut to the front of the line – genius.

The last holiday spirit stressor we will address is the mandatory holiday party.  One problem with these parties is the massive amounts of food available.  This can be solved by using Bah Humbug Buster 3.

3.  Eat dessert first. Instead of filling yourself with all the main course dishes then forcing yourself to squeeze in dessert, eat dessert first, then you will be happy and satisfied. 
At these parties, don’t forget your face mask,because you know there will be germs.  AND when you see that person across the room that you dislike more than anyone else on the planet, don’t forget #2a – Christmas carols.  If you wear your mask while singing those carols, you are guaranteed to be remembered.

Imagine a world where everyone followed these Bah Humbug Busters….. singing carols, wearing face masks, eating dessert – we’d all be happy, healthy and full of sweets. Sounds good to me.  I’ll start. Where’s the cake?

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